Journey to Hear

I titled my blog after the foundation that my amazing friend Hailey has set up to help out the many deaf children in Utah County but I also write that title because I want to emphasize that it really is a journey. Last night we were able to attend the annual speech and arts fair that is hosted by the Alexander Graham Bell Association and the Utah School for the Deaf and Blind. The theme of the night was "A Blast from the Past". It really was a blast from the past for me as I was able to watch the pre-school children and think about how far we have come. I can vividly remember Hadley in her first year performing. Now that it is our fourth year in attendance, the speech fair serves as my yearly reminder of the journey that our little Hadley has been on.


When you find out that your child has a major disability, it is earth-shattering in so many ways. The journey begins! For us, we knew so little about hearing loss that the first thing we did was embark on a journey of learning. We educated ourselves about the deaf community, issues in deafness, sign language, cued speech and finally, cochlear implants. Armed with information, we then began a journey of decision-making. It may seem like an easy decision to some people. If you have the ability to "restore" your child's hearing, why wouldn't you do it? But when you are faced with the choices, it really is difficult.


There are many who are against cochlear implants, citing the importance of a deaf person being part of the deaf community. That means you raise your child to sign, to attend church with deaf people, to attend a deaf school and to have an interpretor wherever they go. They will tell you that cochlear implants aren't always effective or they will tell you to wait until your child is old enough to make the choice. The strength of these opinions vary from those who are mildy opposed to implants and frown at the idea to those who are adamently against cochlear implants are are happy to let you know.


While our family was considering all of the options available to Hadley, we attended a workshop and learned cued speech. Most are completely unaware that such a system exists. I myself had never heard of it until Hadley came along. It is basically a visual representation of phonemes that, when used in combination with lip-reading, allows a person with no hearing to communicate using spoken English. It is, in simplified terms, a bridge between the spoken language and sign language. It uses no sign language but it gives a deaf person the ability to see some of the sounds that are being spoken. It really is an amazing system and as a language enthusiast, I was fascinated by the idea. We logged that information into our little but ever-growing stash of knowledge on our journey to understand just what it means to be the parents of a deaf child.


Obviously, when the choice came, we decided that Hadley would receive a cochlear implant. Her first surgery was in April of 2002. She was barely 12 months old and it was a horrible thing to have to go through. No parent should ever have to hand their little baby over to an anesthesiologist, knowing that she will be sedated, have her head shaved, her skull drilled and electrodes inserted into her cochlea.


The new phase of Hadley's journey began with her cochlear implant We had no idea what it truly meant for her. Now that we are many years down the road, we are able to see how having a cochlear implant has changed Hadley's life for the better. I know it is easy for others to offer their opinions on implants, hearing aids and all of the other many options that are available to a deaf child but I am confident that our daughter was given every opportunity possible to become who she is today and I am so proud of her.

Last night was yet another affirmation that Hadley is on the right path on her journey to hear. As I think back on the other years that she participated in the speech fair, I can see the evolution of a little girl who could barely say her name to this amazing, bright-eyed, confident person who hopped up on the stage last night and lead the audience in a sing along of The Beatles song, "I Want to Hold Your Hand". There was no trepidation in her. She smiled, held that microphone, introduced herself and said, "Raise your hand if you like The Beatles." I am never sure if I understand Hadley so well because she's my child and I am accustomed to her speech or if she really speaks clearly enough to be intelligible to everyone. To my delight, hands went up throughout the audience. She was clear, everyone understood her, and everyone sang along.

Oh, Hadley....I am so honored to be your mom. I am so thankful for this journey we are taking together. I am overcome with the person that you are today and I do not ever want this journey to end. I love you, Hadley Anne!