I'm Getting Nothin' For Christmas!

Has Santa ever come and really left only a lump of coal? He's thinking about it at the Peay house. Somebody is on Santa's naughty list. Somebody has forgotten how to be nice. Somebody might be getting NOTHING for Christmas. And Somebody, when threatened with the lump of coal, said, "I can start a fire with that coal."

(But he's SO cute and he's so funny! What can you do?)

Lincoln.....

Where do I even begin with Lincoln?

At the beginning....8 weeks early, only 4 lbs. 3 oz.

Probably not the easiest way to start off, right, Buddy? And now, one year later, past the twenty pound mark, crawling like a madman, eating everything I put in front of you, laughing at your brother and sister, squealing with delight whenever you see your mom, wrestling with your dad, five teeth, ten perfect fingers and toes, fuzzy blonde hair (blonde? where'd I get a blondie?), bright blue eyes, loving life! There is one thing I still can't figure out. You got all of those new toys yesterday for your birthday and today you are still desperately trying to splash around in the toilet. Ready to start potty training? Hmmm...

Happy Birthday, Lincoln. In the tradition of birthdays, I need to only say one nice thing about you since you are only one year old. Here I go....Lincoln, I am SO proud of you! Thank you for learning how to eat, and breathe for me. Thanks for coming home from the hospital before New Years, thanks for being so squishy now, thanks for figuring out how to sleep through the night, thanks for loving me. I love you, Lincoln.

Now, a few words about the birthday cake....he liked it. He really, really liked it. He ate it all and then later, when I was putting him to bed, it all came back. Yay! Happy Birthday. Enough said!

You've come a long way, Baby!

Recycle!

I happen to be a fan of recycling. It's not hard to do. I hate throwing things away. I hate waste. It's a great concept, right? It's something easy we can all do for the environment. It's something I've noticed a lot in politics, too...

I was thinking as this election cycle went on (and on and on and on) that Barack Obama's refrain of "Yes We Can" or, for some of his constituents, my personal favorite of "Si Se Puede" sounded awfully familiar. Was it another politican's slogan? I thought about it....it wasn't Bush 1's "Read my lips, no new taxes" or Clinton's "It's the economy, Stupid!" It wasn't "I like Ike" or Reagan's famous "Are you better off than you were four years ago?". Although vaguely reminiscent of JFK's slogan, "We Can Do Better," I was sure it was used word for word somewhere. Hmmm. I was stumped. Until....

This morning, I turned on Bob the Builder for Maddox. He was ready for preschool but I still had to get myself ready and I figured I'd keep him entertained for a few minutes. Maddox isn't a huge tv fan and since Hadley wasn't much of a Bob the Builder watcher, it's not a common show in our home. The music began and I heard the song, "Bob the Builder, can we fix it? Bob the Builder, yes we can!"

AHA! It finally clicked. Yes we can! We can, we can, we can. We can find the key to the presidency in the most unlikely of places. Obama, the great orator, found his way to the White House in the slogan of Bob the Builder. Obama, I think you owe Bob a great big "Thank you!" Now, only time will tell if Obama can fix it as well as Bob can.

Meaningful conversation

(The pictures have nothing to do with this post, other than the subjects with whom said conversations took place are in the picture. I just realized I haven't put a picture up lately.)

The setting: Election Day, afternoon. Hadley returns from school. "Mom, who is winning the election?" she asks.

I reply, "So far, Barack Obama is winning."

Hadley bursts into tears and between her sobs says, "The world is going to end. I don't want the world to end."

I sort of agree (just kidding. I'm not THAT Republican!) but I ask a few more questions just to be sure. "Why do you think the world is going to end, Honey? We will be fine. Who told you that the world would end if Barack Obama is the president?"

"You did, Mom!" she says.

Now I am really confused. I'm pretty sure I didn't say that. It wasn't until later that night that it hit me. The previous evening, when discussing politics over dinner, Hadley asked what the differences were between the two candidates. I proceeded to lay out some of the main differences, ending with, "Barack Obama wants to end the war." Oops. I guess I should have checked to make sure my deaf child understood that part of the conversation.

Fast forward to the next day. Hadley returns from school. "Mom, is Dad going to be okay at his job when Barack Obama becomes the president?"

By this point, I am ultra sensitive. I don't want Hadley to have another near nervous breakdown. She worries so much that she already is a candidate for blood pressure medicine. (Not really, don't worry. I have to say that because she has so many random health problems that it wouldn't come as a big shock. But really she's fine. She's just a worrier.) "Yes, Hadley, Dad will be fine. He really won't be affected too much by an administration change."

"Well, I think he will be running around, so busy, all day long and he will always be home late and he won't have dinner with his family anymore. Just work, work, work."

"Why, Hadley?"

"Because Barack Obama is going to cause a lot of problems for the Republicans, Mom. And we are Republicans, Mom. And my dad is a lawyer and he told me that a lawyer's job is to fix problems."

Wow, talk about having faith in her daddy!

And now, Maddox. The setting: the kitchen on Thursday morning. Maddox says to me, "Hi, Gorgeous. Is your name Gorgeous, Mom?"

I grin. I could tell him yes. I should tell him yes. "My name is Mommy, Maddox," I reply.

"Oh. Then why does Daddy call you Gorgeous?"

I grin again. A little while later, Stewart comes home from work. "Hey Gorgeous," he says, as he walks over and kisses me. I grin yet again.

Ode to October 14th

Twas the night before my birthday
And all through my place
The kids are all missing
Not a one, not a trace.
The husband has driven
To find me a gift
And the children are helping
With this last minute sift.
The sun, it has set,
The clock's nearing eight
Where could they be going
At an hour so late?
I think to myself
Well, they can't go too far...
The gas light is already
On in my car.
You may be wondering
What store is still open?
There's WalMart and Kohl's
Or Costco (he's hopin')
I've cut out some pictures
And dropped a few hints
Something with a big screen
Or that sparkles and glints.
But to tell you the truth
Now that I'm getting old
I'd settle for a twelve pack
Of Diet Coke (cold)
Or maybe some slippers
To shuffle around
Since winter is coming
And snow will abound.
But...Ssssshhhh...Please don't tell him.
My favorite part is
This night spent alone
Without any kids.
Yes, the night before my birthday
When I'm all alone
And everything's quiet
In my cozy home.
And I think that I heard
'Ere he drove out of sight
"Maddox, don't hit your sister
Hadley, please do not fight!"

Free bags!

Girls...check this out...Handbag Planet is giving away free bags....one per hour on the day of their new site launch. Their bags are great and as a bag person...a bag lady?...I think it's fate that they are launching their new site on October 15th. Yeah, that is my birthday...thanks for remembering! So...if you weren't sure what to get me, now you know. Kidding. Sort of.

Mothers

I know it isn't Mother's Day, but...

A few friends of mine have had major obstacles in their lives this past week. It's amazing how much I have thought about these ladies. I keep thinking about "mourning with those that mourn and comforting those that stand in need of comfort" and I feel the need to express something about mothers.

If I am in a store and I see a mom with that panicked look in her eyes calling her lost child's name, I instantly drop what I'm doing and try to help. My eyes fill up with tears, I get a lump in my throat, and my heart starts pounding. Why? Because I am a mom and I understand how terrifying it can be to lose sight of a precious little one.

Maybe that's why I have been crying a lot for the last two weeks. My heart is aching for a little boy in the hospital with burns all over his body (and for his mom), for another mom with a child with kidney disease and a second in the hospital with meningitis, and mostly for a mom who lost her sweet little 15 month old on the week she is set to deliver her fifth child. I cannot stop thinking about these friends and the aches in their heart. I tried really hard to explain myself to my husband. I don't think he gets it. I think he was considering doing research on anti-depressants for me. Why am I so sad? Because I am a mom and I understand. I haven't been in the same position as these three strong women but I have had my share of heartache with my own children and I know how much we mothers LOVE, LOVE, LOVE our babies.

I guess somewhere deep down in my heart, I hope that my sadness can take away a little of their pain. I hope the tears that I shed for those moms and their babies will make it so that they can cry a little less. I pray that I can bear a little of their load so that they can get out of bed tomorrow. I know without a doubt that during my hardest times, there were other mothers, my own included, who cried tears for me and felt my pain.

Thank you, Moms. I love you!

Regarding....

So...a while ago, I posted a "MY LIFE RULES" in response to this hilarious Deseret News article that a friend forwarded. I, personally, found it to be too true! So I figured...why not go ahead and add to the stereotype. Not to say that I wasn't feeling Seriously So Blessed at the moment that I wrote the post. I do have great kids and a great husband. I really do. I even have a great life. But I think we are a little too real around here sometimes. Does anyone else find that looking around the blogosphere can make you fee like a total loser slob in sweats with dirty hair, dirty kids and a dirty house? I look around at everyone else's pictures and wonder what I'm doing wrong. My kids are never THAT CLEAN with shiny faces, perfect hair and smiles. More likely, you'll find us at the dentist getting a cavity filled, at the audiologist having a cochlear implant adjusted, or at Wal-Mart having a temper tantrum. Unfortunate, I know. We are just too normal.

Anyhow, I saw yet another reference to Seriously So Blessed on Rachel's blog, which, by the way, is pretty honest and also makes me laugh. (Thanks, Rachel!) Thought some of the rest of you guys may find her offensive and/or funny. Take your pick. It's some serious self mockery. Don't we all need some of that sometimes? On the other hand....I did take off my "All This Because Two People Fell in Love" widget when I realized that Seriously So Blessed was making fun of it on HER blog. Thanks a lot, SSB! But you are funny....

Still from Michigan after all these years!

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North   You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The Midland
The South
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

This surprised me. I thought I had a little more Florida in me and that possibly, after spending 15 years in Utah, some of it had rubbed off. I guess not!

Tag!

Thanks, Jamie. I had fun reading your tag. Here goes nothing....

1. Where is your cell phone? Good question. Really good question. Maddox? Where's Mommy's phone?
2. Where is your significant other? Taking cookies to the neighbors.
3. Your hair color? A new, rich shade of dark brown. I know...can you believe it?
4. Your mother? At home making lasagna.
5. Your father? Waiting for the lasagna.
6. Your favorite thing? Family
7. Your dream last night? I don't remember. That's a good thing, though.
8. Your dream/goal? Get my Ph.D. and teach on a university level.
9. The room you’re in? Our study.
10. Your hobby? My preschool, I guess.
11. Your fear? Running out of things. Why did you buy so many rolls of paper towels, Misha? I don't know. I just don't want to run out. Oh, yeah, also....that Stew will sign us up for co-ed softball again. AWFUL.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Here is good. Not to imply a lack of progress but I'm okay with here. Although...in 6 years, all of my kids will be at school ALL DAY LONG. It doesn't get much better than that.
13. Where were you last night? Grocery store, home watching football and eating pizza.
14. What you’re not? Punctual
15. One of your wish-list items? A soda fountain
16. Where you grew up? Stuart, Florida
17. The last thing you did? Got a fresh, cold Diet Coke.
18. What are you wearing? Orange skirt, cream cardigan.
19. Your TV? Off. Hallelujah. That's 'cause the significant other isn't home. Otherwise, I'd be able to hear one of the ESPNs or the talking heads endless analysis of why our economy is in the tank and who will be the next president.
20. Your pet? A freshly groomed Miniature Schnauzer named Bella
21. Your computer? Almost exclusively used for Webkinz. Don't know what that is? Guess you don't have a 7 year old girl!
22. Your mood? Good mellow.
23. Missing someone? Not really. Just the old me, I guess. You know, the one with a little free time, painted toenails, and new music.
24. Your car? Full of cheerios and gas (that cost way too much money) with BYU plates.
25. Something you’re not wearing? shoes
26. Favorite store? Costco. Sick, right?
27. Your summer? Too hot, too short.
28. Love someone? Lots of someones.
29. Your favorite color? Cougar Blue!
30. When is the last time you laughed? 20 minutes ago. Maddox is supposed to be napping but he's potty trained now so he has figured out that by saying he needs to go to the potty, he gets out of the nap. Clever little boy!
31. Last time you cried? Last Sunday while teaching the Relief Society lesson on death.

Now, how many am I supposed to tag? I'll tag four.
Becca C., Rachel P., Ciara and Bridget ....you are all it!

Blue skies and not so sleepless in Seattle

Should the very first thing mentioned be the football game? Maybe. But I won't. I must first tell you that I finally feel as though I have caught up on my sleep. The concept of a sleep bank, once introduced to me, states that if you are not sleeping enough, you are in the red. Let me tell you, I have been seriously overdrawn for a long, long time. Having a baby in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit for 6 weeks will plummet you into insolvency in no time. Then, bringing home a cute kiddo who can't go for more then 1 to 2 hours at a time without eating just about left me bankrupt. Little by little, though, I have been moving back to stability. This weekend, Stewart and I went to Seattle to see the city. Yeah, right! You all know that we REALLY went to see the football game but I'm going to pretend that we went for a romantic getaway. So what did I do? I slept every night for at least 10 hours straight. Nothing woke me up in the night. I didn't wake up to go to the bathroom or to comfort a crying child. I just SLEPT and it was fantastic.

And the weather....oh, the weather! It was glorious. Everyone says Seattle is rainy and gray and I think it's just a big lie to keep the world from knowing how beautiful it is there. They are such environmentalists that maybe they pretend it's gray and miserable so it doesn't get too crowded. I loved the trees. Maybe they water them a lot because they sure are tall. What? It rains a lot? Oh. Well...I still think that's a lie.

Now, the football game. Stew, sorry, it doesn't get top billing for me. But thanks for a fantastic time. Can you believe that call? Can you believe what whiners those Huskies are? Seriously. The rules are the rules. And besides, we did block that extra point. And even if we hadn't, I think we'd have won it in overtime. We had just made 97 and 84 yard drives in our 2 previous possessions. There were about 10,000 other blue clad screaming fans with us and we loved every second of it. The really close games are always fun. Maybe my heart was pounding and my palms were sweating the whole time. Maybe. That speeds up your metabolism and helps with weight loss, though, right? And, yes, I HAVE become a huge football fan in my 10 1/2 years of marriage. Go Cougars! Looking forward to UCLA next week.

Also fun in Seattle: really amazing Yankees Mariners baseball game, killer seafood at a few restaurants, touristy boat ride in the harbor, more great seafood, crabcakes with caviar, Alaskan Halibut (Oscar style, of course, for a little more crab), one of the biggest cinnamon rolls I've ever eaten in my life, the fish market, so many sights and smells, and most importantly, the first trip with my husband and no diapers, wipes, strollers, car seats or port-a-cribs for a very long time.

MY LIFE RULES!

How cool is my life? I mean, seriously. If my life were a cereal, it would be called Marshmallow Cocoa Awesome Puffs. If my life were a novel, it would be called "A Tale of Too Much Awesomeness" and it would be on the bestseller list FOREVER. Look at these kids....look at that amazing husband....

I love summer. I love parade and firework season. I love my kids. I love my husband. I love my life right now. It rules!

Joy!

On Friday night, we went to a Peter Breinholt concert. For those of you who are unfamiliar with him, I rearranged my music so that my first four songs are his. He's a Mormon singer/songwriter that I've been listening to since college. I think I have my brother, Ryan, to thank for introducing me. He has been performing for 15 years and...well...I've been a fan for about that long! A little plug for him: he just released a greatest hits album and it's great. I just love the mellow style, the acoustic guitar, the fun atmosphere of his concerts, and most of all, that his shows tend to be outside and in the summertime. There is nothing quite so fun to me as going to an outside concert in Utah. Something about the music, the mountains, the night air--it gets me every time. This concert had an extra edge, though. The opening act was The Singing Children of Africa choir. I could not control the joy I felt at watching them perform. My grin was so wide that my face ached. I was so overcome that I couldn't help myself. I HAD to stand up and dance. A little later in the show, the kids went back up and danced on the stage while Peter performed and the entire audience...or at least the dancing portion of the audience...went and danced up front while the children danced on the stage. I had so much fun that it was literally all I could think about. When I got home, I still had joy flowing out of my fingertips. I had to turn on some music and dance SOME MORE! Even though it was one o'clock in the morning, my patient husband just looked at me, asked me if I was okay, and then rolled over and went back to sleep.

Look at these beautiful children....

Here are the girls:

And the boys:
They were inspiring to me. I wanted to watch them, to be close to them, to listen to them sing, to feel the joy that they feel, and to dance, dance, dance! It opened my mind and my heart and made me wonder if I've given anyone that kind of joy. Check them out. They have a few more weeks in Utah and you can still catch up with them if you hurry. Maybe they can put a little spring in your step. Be careful, though. You may just find yourself with an uncontrollable urge to dance!

Up, up and away

They say the early bird gets the worm. It's true! On Saturday, Maddox and I woke up early and we noticed some hot air balloons in the sky. Since Hadley and Lincoln were still asleep, Stewart stayed home with them while we went to see if we could get a closer look. It was the Highland City Fling and so we headed off toward our city building. And....we found a man giving hot air balloon rides to some of the kids. It was quite early in the morning and there were only a few people there waiting for their ride. Maddox and I hopped in line and we got a turn. I've never ridden in a hot air balloon before!

We called home and told Stewart to bring Hadley over so she could have a turn. By the time she arrived, the balloon was getting too hot and they were just doing quick, short rides for children only. She did get a turn, as well, but not quite the turn that Maddox and I had. It was truly the perfect beginning to a day. Thanks, Maddox, for waking up WAY too early for a Saturday. Love ya, Buddy!

I'm sailing, I'm sailing!

I've been thinking about Bob a lot lately. Yeah, I know, I'm married to someone else. Don't worry, Stew, I'm not thinking about Bob like that. I'm thinking about trying new things and how much FUN it can be. Of course, whenever I am doing something new, I feel the uncontrollable urge to start screaming, "I'm sailing, I'm sailing!"

Case in point, I tried yoga last week. I don't know why I've never tried yoga before but I haven't. Guess what? It is amazing. I loved it. "I'm doing yoga, I'm doing yoga!" I have caught myself a few times since my yoga classes saying things like, "let it go" or, "let it be okay". I guess the relaxation is kicking in. I left everyone at home, rode my bike to class, and truly enjoyed the first few hours of my morning. It's a great way to begin a day that promises to have many hours full of screaming children.

A few days ago, my family got those big black truck tubes and floated down the Provo River. I have done it a few times before but I think I saw a few other people in my family have "I'm sailing" moments and it was such a blast. I love watching other people have those "I'm sailing" moments almost as much as I love having them myself!

I really started thinking about this at swimming lessons today. Maddox and Hadley are both having lessons at the same time and as I was running back and forth between the two classes to check on them and make sure everything is okay, I realized that neither one of them had any fear of the water. Of course, my deaf child has no fears of anything, EVER! In the pool, that's as true as always. She's just as happy as can be. When it was time for the back stroke today, she took off across the pool like a little fish. Even her teacher was shocked at how fast that girl can swim. She may not always catch every word of the instructions since her processors are off and she's relying on lipreading skills but she does really well. Maddox is also fearless and loved every second of it but I am never sure with him. He sometimes balks at new things and is very reluctant to try something until he has watched for awhile. I was pleasantly surprised to see him hop right in and put his face in the water to blow bubbles.

When I watch my kids living...I mean, really living, I feel an ache in my heart for all of the things that I am not doing that I love to do. I am at the period in life when I just get to hold a baby most of the time. That means not too much swimming, not too much yoga or bike riding and not too much sailing. Oh well. I know this is just the period of life that I'm in and that someday, I'll miss this. (Or will I?) But...I want to sail, darn it!

Haves and Have Nots

200 Have and Have nots: The bold ones are the ones I have done. Thanks, Rebecca. I had fun reading your list. Now I have a few more things to add to my list of things to do before I die, too!

1. Touched an iceberg

2. Slept under the stars

3. Been a part of a hockey fight

4. Changed a baby's diaper (try five before noon today.)

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Swam with wild dolphins

8. Climbed a mountain

9. Held a tarantula

10. Said "I love you" and meant it

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea (4th of July on the Boston Whaler. Bring back any memories, anyone?)

14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise

15. Seen the Northern Lights

16. Gone to a huge sports game (well, maybe BYU games aren't HUGE but I think that Cubs baseball games are huge. A matter of perspective, perhaps?)

17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty (You can't even do that anymore, post 9/11, can you?)

18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment (at the dentist...for some reason pain makes me laugh. Weird, right? Child birth was hilarious!)

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Bet on a winning horse

23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill (those are the best ones. Then you can really enjoy your day!)

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Taken an ice cold bath (Russia...)

28. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Ridden a roller coaster (Have I ever turned down a ride on a roller coaster? I don't think so!)

31. Hit a home run

32. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking (Always!)

33. Adopted an accent for fun (Stewart didn't think it was funny...)

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (truly amazing, life-changing, even)

35. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment

36. Loved your job 90% of the time

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Watched wild whales

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Gone on a midnight walk on the beach (to watch the sea turtles lay their eggs.)

41. Gone sky diving

42. Visited Ireland

43. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited India

45. Bench-pressed your own weight

46. Milked a cow

47. Alphabetized your personal files

48. Ever worn a superhero costume (wonderwoman underoos...does that count?)

49. Sung karaoke

50. Lounged around in bed all day

51. Gone scuba diving

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Done something you should regret, but don't

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Been in a movie

60. Gone without food for 3 days

61. Made cookies from scratch

62. Won first prize in a costume contest

63. Got flowers for no reason (Thanks, Scott. Hehe.)

64. Been in a combat zone

65. Spoken more than one language fluently

66. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone (not a fist fight, though. I've never been in one of those.)

67. Bounced a check (oops.)

68. Read - and understood - your credit report

69. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy

70. Found out something significant that your ancestors did

71. Called or written your Congress person

72. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

73. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

74. Helped an animal give birth

75. Been fired or laid off from a job

76. Won money

77. Broken a bone

78. Ridden a motorcycle

79. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph

80. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

81. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing

82. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

83. Eaten sushi

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read The Bible cover to cover

86. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about

87. Gotten someone fired for their actions

88. Gone back to school

89. Changed your name

90. Caught a fly in the air with your bare hands

91. Eaten fried green tomatoes

92. Read The Iliad

93. Taught yourself an art from scratch

94. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (fish are animals, right?)

95. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt

96. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

97. Been elected to public office

98. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream

99. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

100. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you

101. Had a booth at a street fair

102. Dyed your hair

103. Been a DJ

104. Rocked a baby to sleep

105. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all four
(and lizards, too! The benefit of a Florida flat roof!)

106. Raked your carpet

107. Brought out the best in people

108. Brought out the worst in people

109. Worn a mood ring

110. Ridden a horse

111. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap

112. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe

113. Buried a child

114. Gone to a Broadway (or equivalent to your country) play

115. Been inside the pyramids

116. Shot a basketball into a basket (but probably only once!)

117. Danced at a disco

118. Played in a band

119. Shot a bird

120. Gone to an arboretum

121. Tutored someone

122. Ridden a train

123. Brought an old fad back into style

124. Eaten caviar

125. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn’t need

126. Ridden a giraffe or elephant

127. Published a book

128. Pieced a quilt

129. Lived in an historic place

130. Acted in a play or performed on a stage

131. Asked for a raise

132. Made a hole-in-one

133. Gone deep sea fishing

134. Gone roller skating

135. Run a marathon

136. Learned to surf

137. Invented something

138. Flown first class

139. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury suite

140. Flown in a helicopter

141. Visited Africa

142. Sang a solo

143. Gone spelunking

144. Learned how to take a compliment

145. Written a love-story

146. Seen Michelangelo’s David

147. Had your portrait painted

148. Written a fan letter

149. Spent the night in something haunted

150. Owned a St. Bernard or Great Dane

151. Ran away (I still want to sometimes.)

152. Learned to juggle

153. Been a boss

154. Sat on a jury

155. Lied about your weight

156. Gone on a diet

157. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget

158. Written a poem

159. Carried your lunch in a lunchbox

160. Gotten food poisoning

161. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission

162. Hiked the Grand Canyon

163. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks

164. Gone to the opera

165. Gotten a letter from someone famous

166. Worn knickers

167. Ridden in a limousine

168. Attended the Olympics

169. Can hula or waltz

170. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books

171. Been stuck in an elevator

172. Had a revelatory dream

173. Thought you might crash in an airplane

174. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert

175. Saved someone’s life

176. Eaten raw whale

177. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint

178. Laughed till your side hurt

179. Straddled the equator

180. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing

181. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival

182. Sent a message in a bottle

183. Spent the night in a hostel

184. Been a cashier

185. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

186. Joined a union

187. Donated blood or plasma

188. Built a campfire

189. Kept a blog

190. Had hives

191. Worn custom made shoes or boots

192. Made a PowerPoint presentation

193. Taken a Hunter’s Safety Course

194. Served at a soup kitchen

195. Conquered the Rubik’s cube

196. Know CPR (Infant, of course. I have had that darn class twice.)

197. Ridden in or owned a convertible

198. Found a long lost friend

199. Helped solve a crime

200. Responded to a NJP newsletter

*If you want to join the fun, simply copy and paste this list to your post. Bold the ones that apply to you. Have fun!

Oh...they really DO love each other!

Do anybody else's kids start fighting the minute they wake up? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I'm a bit of a fighter myself. But, really, can't they just finish their breakfast before they start crying about someone (Maddox) who hit someone else (Hadley) because someone (Hadley) is sitting in someone else's (Maddox's) chair? Or someone (Maddox) who spit at someone else (Hadley) because someone (Hadley) told him it was HER turn to say the prayer? Seriously, you guys, you are fighting about a prayer. KNOCK IT OFF!

So...is there evidence that they are good people who really love each other but are just trying to exercise a little bit of independence? I think so!

Whenever Lincoln is crying, one of his siblings comes running to his rescue to coo at him, hold him, put a toy in his chubby hands or do a silly dance for him. He is the lucky one. Nobody is fighting with him yet!

Hadley has recently discovered that she can use the microwave. I never used to let her touch things in the kitchen but she has blossomed into a child who loves to read and follow instructions. Of course, that carries over to preparing food and I am now allowing her to do some things for herself. It's great, by the way! But on subject, this morning, she fixed oatmeal for herself and for her brother. She knows just how Maddox likes it and was so sweet to him. This is just one example of how well she takes care of her brother. I have had moments of feeling proud of her and moments of feeling guilty about it. I'm so proud that she can be so helpful, is so grown up and is so thoughtful. I feel guilty because before I had Lincoln, she never had to take care of Maddox. I always did it. I know, I know... it's part of growing up. Do I have to let them grow up, though?

How about Maddox...? Well, the evidence that he loves his sister with him is always and never there. I say always because he has such wonderful intentions and I say never because the reality is that he's a boy who is rough, crazy and forgets all about his intentions. I don't think he means to spit at her or hit her quite as often as he does. I think (hope?) he knows it's wrong. I interpret it as his way of telling her to quit bossing him around, to quit mothering him, to quit being the "big sister". But when it really comes down to it, his entire face lights up when Hadley is around. When he woke up from his nap today to find that his sister had gone to play with a friend, he was devastated.

In my reflections on my kids and how they relate with one another, I am reminded of my own childhood and my relationships with my siblings. I know we had our ups and our downs, our times of being close to one another and our times of hating one another. The interesting thing is that even now, as adults, we have those times. There are some of my siblings that I have much more in common with and others that can STILL push my buttons and make me want to clobber them. Does that mean I don't love them all? No! Of course not! So I guess when my kids are fighting over the breakfast that one of them (Hadley) so lovingly prepared for the other one (Maddox), I can count my blessings that they have each other and hold my breath and wait until one more (Lincoln) adds his bowl of oatmeal to the kitchen bar and joins in the morning squabble.

"IT" IS BA-A-A-A-ACK....

Okay all of you moms out there, I need help with this one. Maddox has the "It" again. That is how we have oh-so fondly named this horrible stomach ailment that he keeps coming down with. "It" is the very same illness that ruined our family trip to California. Here's the deal:

"It" began in April and lasted for almost 3 weeks until our doctor finally treated Maddox for giardia. We assumed he picked up something at the petting zoo, one of his favorite places, and ate it. He does that. Weird, I know. Anyhow, "It" gave him almost constant diarrhea and then nighttime vomiting. The Dr. treated "It" and "It" left. Three weeks to the day of the giardia treatment, "It" returned and lasted only for one day. Exactly three weeks after that, another appearance of the "It". And now, exactly 2 weeks after that, well, we are sitting home washing his sheets, comforter, towels, and Maddox is finally sleeping. Maddox, "It" and I were up all night long and I had to cancel my trip to Boston for today to attend my grandfather's wedding. We have taken cute little cups of poop to the hospital lab for analysis and they have tested for all types of bacteria, parasites, etc. No luck. All negative. "It" is a squirrelly, slippery problem, apparently. Ew. No pun intended on the slippery part. But seriously, my pediatrician has no clue what to do for "It" at this point.

So has anyone ever seen or heard of something like this? I know my kids tend to have health issues that border on bizarre but this one is just really puzzling. We can't get in to see the pediatric GI specialist until September. That means, on the current schedule, at least 4 more rounds of "It". I can't handle "It". I would post pictures of "It" but I think that would be a little overboard. Suffice it to say that whatever "It" is, you don't want "It", you don't want to be in the same room as "It" and, as a smell sensitive person, I can attest to the fact that I have never in my life smelled anything else like "It." HELP! "It" stinks!

I'm IT

I've been tagged twice now and I guess it's bad manners to pretend that I didn't see those tags. So, Rachel and Mara, here you go! I am supposed to give you 6 random things about myself. And by the way, I KNOW random. That was one of my favorite words, thanks to Lauren, for a good chunk of my life.

1. I love a good fight, but only with certain people. There is one special person who I consider to be a truly worthy opponent, so I married him. We are well-known for our verbal sparring. That is our main form of communication. In fact, if we seem too civil to one another, that probably means we are not getting along very well. Did you know we got in a fight while driving from the temple to our luncheon after we were married? As the former high school state debate champion (oh yeah, I can fight!)it is mostly just sport to me. I do not like to verbally spar with my family, though. They don't get it. We Davies like to avoid conflict and anytime problems arise, we prefer to ignore them and hope they go away. Now that I am a Peay, though, I get to acknowledge those problems and fight, fight, fight!

2. I am the most smell-sensitive person I have ever met. Stewart tells me I am part bloodhound and I agree. Most people don't take kindly to being called a dog but it's true. If my kids ever grow up and try to come home drunk or smelling like smoke, they are in big trouble. Not only will I catch them, I will also be able to identify the brand of alcohol consumed and maybe even follow the scent to its source and get their friends in trouble as well. One thing that drives me crazy is the smell of yesterday's dinner. I leave the fan on my furnace circulating all the time to rid my house of food smells. Surprisingly, though, the smell of a little baby's diapers don't bother me. Maddox's big, grown-up poops are horrendous but that special baby smell is almsot (I know, this is disgusting) a comfort. It's not as nice as the smell of a freshly bathed baby, all lotioned up. That's why I make all of my kids bathe every night, no matter what. I love them more when they smell fresh! I love the smells of rain, the ocean, freshly-baked cookies, gardenias, orange groves, horses, campfires, and bread baking. I hate the smells of golf (or a husband who just played), strong perfume, especially when you can taste it, cigarette smoke, fried food on clothes (you know what I mean?), cats, public restrooms, feet, mothballs, any leftover food, okay...this list is endless. The important part, I guess, is that smell is very important to me. It can take me back to a good memory or a bad one. If I smell white wine, I get tears in my eyes because it reminds me of my grandma. If I smell vodka, cigarettes and urine, I think I am in Russia. If I smell baby lotion and laundry soap, I know I must be in heaven with a clean baby in my arms.

3. When I was younger, my older brother and sisters used to tell me I was adopted and I believed them. Sometimes, I still do! I was the only one of us at that time with green eyes. Ryan's have sinced turned a little green but I used to be the odd one, or as I thought, the ugly duckling. They were all born in odd years and I was born in an even year. They were all relatively normal and I was an overly emotional spaz. I still don't have all that much in common with some of my siblings and I still have moments of wondering if they didn't just find me abandoned in some ditch and keep me, figuring that since they had so many kids, nobody would notice one more. Whether it's nature or nurture, though, I guess there are some family lines that run deep. Yeah, maybe I don't sing like the rest of them, but I can make great bubble letters. Is that a family trait?

4.I did not always want to be a mom. I had plans for my life that did not include children, or at least not for a long time. When I was younger, I started a Future Educators club in my middle school. I wanted to be either a teacher or a lawyer (two professions that allow you to talk a lot and force others to listen). So I became a teacher and married a lawyer with hopes of attending law school myself some day, when I get around to it. I was much more interested in reading Stewart's law school outlines than parenting magazines, even when I was pregnant with Hadley. I hear about people and know people (Mara!) who just wanted to grow up and have babies. I did not feel that way. My first pregnancy was not planned and I cried for a few weeks about it. Once I had Hadley, though, it felt very natural and instinctive. Other friends have asked me questions about teaching their children to read, discipline, or breastfeeding and I don't know how to answer because I didn't have to think about those things. I just do what feels right. And, for the record, if I only had the children that I intentionally got pregnant with, I would not have any children. My only planned pregnancy was the one that I miscarried. How's that for irony?

5. I am slow. I am really, really slow. I am not talking about my mental capacity, although I used to believe that I was retarded. First I'll explain that and then I'll move on to my speed. When I moved to Florida in first grade, they had me tested and put me into the gifted program. I got pulled out of my class every day and I went to this special class. They called it resource or gifted and I was convinced that I was mentally disabled and that no one would tell me the truth. The resource program at my elementary school was divided into two parts. There was the special education group and the gifted group, all lumped under the resource umbrella. I figured since those kids were called special and I was gifted, they must both be terms used to make us feel better about ourselves. It took me a long time to believe that I was okay. My speed, on the other hand, is neither gifted nor special. It is just plain embarrassing. I once lost a race to Stewart. No big deal, right? Yeah, well he was running backwards. I'm slow. I'm really, really slow.

6. I used to joke that life was trying to make a pessimist out of me. If there is a less then one percent chance of some bizarre medical malfunction, it seems to happen to me or my family. But I am still an optimist. When the phone rings, I usually think it's going to be some exciting news. When I wake up in the morning, I wonder what great thing is going to happen that day. When I am going to a football game, I am sure my team will win. When I am going to a presidential primary, I am sure my candidate will win. When I am watching American Idol, I am sure my favorite singer will win. Does it always turn out? No, not really. Does that mean I don't still hope? NOPE! I also do have a little bit of psychic in me. And a lot of psycho but we'll save that for another post. Before all of my major life events, I've known something was coming. I was telling Stewart before Hadley's implant failed that I knew something bad was coming and he told me that wasn't being psychic. He said that you could just plan for a major trial in our lives every few months. I think, seriously, that Heavenly Father gives me little warning feelings to help me prepare for disaster. Or maybe I could start a psychic hotline and earn a few extra dollars! Either way, I feel optimistic about the outcome. Ha!

WHEW. I did it. I told you six random things that you may not have known about me. Now it's my turn to spread the love. I tag Lauren, Susan, Joelle, Rachel (my cousin, not my sister-in-law), Hailey and Sarah. Sister-in-law Rachel, it's not personal. I don't think I can tag you right back since you just tagged me. If I recall, the playground rules clearly dictate, "No Tag Backs!" That goes for all of you that I just tagged as well!

Lazy River, Lazy Days, Lazy Eye....

This is how I spent my weekend....
Sort of!
The picture doesn't show anyone laying by the pool bouncing a 6 month old baby on her sunburned knees. Even so, it was blissful. Lincoln and I got to float around in the lazy river, go to a fantastic cooking class, eat plenty of seafood (just me, not Lincoln), have a manicure and pedicure, drink pina coladas, and enjoy the plentiful shopping in Scottsdale, Arizona. Stewart was busy in meetings and on the golf course but he managed to spend some time floating around the lazy river with Lincoln as well.

When you have your first baby, you can't believe how busy you are and how much time it takes up of your life. When you have three and you get to leave 2 at home, one is amazingly easy. I really enjoyed the break. Lincoln is a great traveller; he still sleeps in his car seat so he felt right at home. He wasn't a huge fan of the Arizona heat but as long as we found him some shade or kept his little toes in the pool, he was very happy. He loved not wearing socks. I think he discovered his toes this weekend. He would sit in his stroller with his legs stretched out gazing admiringly at his feet and then he would grin and coo at them. I'm with you, Lincoln. Being barefoot is great!

Enough about my lazy days and the lazy river and on to the lazy eye. We found out in January that Hadley has a lazy eye. At first it wasn't that big of a deal. She just had to get glasses. I was definitely more upset than she was about the glasses. I feel like it's not fair. She's had to deal with so much in her life already. Last Monday we went to the eye doctor to see how we are progressing with the glasses and she hasn't made any progress so now she has to wear an eye patch. Poor little kid. We are now wondering if we should just go ahead and put braces, head gear and a helmet on her and send her off to school each morning. She is a metal detector's worst nightmare with all of the gear on and in her head! She's a pretty good sport but it's hard because she still relies so much on visual cues to figure out what's going on around her. Her cochlear implants are amazing but she misses some things and still lip reads a lot. When she is wearing her patch, she's sort of withdrawn. She likes to just go read or watch a movie and doesn't like to interact. I guess it's frustrating for her to follow conversation with her good eye patched.

Maddox and Lincoln are going to be tested in July. Stewart had a lazy eye as a little boy and it is hereditary. So far, though, Hadley seems to be the only one that has inherited all of those random annoying genes. The deaf gene that we never knew we had, the allergy gene, the lazy eye...any other family defects out there that I should know about? 'Cause I'm sure she will end up with them! Luckily, she also got Stewart's gorgeous eyelashes and my quick wit so she will be okay.

One of the hardest lessons as a parent is that you can't take away your children's pain. I know it builds character for her to have these experiences but how much character does one little girl need? Don't misunderstand me. I recognize how blessed she is and how blessed our family has been to know and raise Hadley. I just wish I could make her path in life a little bit easier. I am afraid sometimes that I spoil her too much because I try to make up for some of the harder things she has had to deal with. I have to keep reminding myself that she is such a happy person and that she's going to make it through this with flying colors, just like everything else in her life.

Beautiful boy

Out of respect for Maddox's birthday, I held off on posting about Lincoln's blessing day for a few days. Yes, it is May! We are finally allowed to take Lincoln to church. RSV season is windong down and we can leave our house. I am finding, though, that going anywhere with two little boys isn't much fun and we still mostly stay home.

However, we were able to bless Lincoln on Sunday. All of my children have been blessed on a special day. Hadley was blessed on Mother's Day, Maddox on the 4th of July and Lincoln on Maddox's birthday. It was a really sweet blessing for my really sweet boy. I don't think Stewart was any less nervous the third time around but he did well, as always.

We broke with the family tradition of using the antique blessing gown when Maddox was blessed. We started our own tradition and blessed both of our boys in the same outfit that Stewart wore when he was blessed. Since Stewart was quite a bit bigger than both of our boys have been, it still worked for Lincoln, even at 5 months old.

So, my beautiful baby boy, you are now officially known as Lincoln Stewart Peay on the records of the church. Thank you for falling asleep during your blessing and being a little angel for us afterwards during the chaos of the birthday party. You are finally making up for all of the stress you put us through for the first few months of your life. I think you may turn out all right, after all, Lincoln!

Happy Birthday, M-Dog!

My little man turned 3 today. It is amazing how quickly these years have gone by and how much I have learned. I had no idea that there were so many different kinds of fire trucks, for example. But now I know the difference between a brush rig and an aerial ladder truck. I didn't know how easy it would be to teach someone how to talk when they can hear. Apparently you do not even have to try to teach them. They pick up and repeat everything they hear, whether or not you want them to. I also didn't know that there were so many types of tractors in the world. I now know the difference between a skid steer and a combine harvester or a giant excavator and a backhoe loader. I used to just call them all tractors but not anymore. I didn't know that the most exciting part of going to the zoo could be watching the giraffe go to the bathroom. You really can learn so much from a little boy.

I love being with Maddox. I love the great things he says and the views he has on the world. I love his imagination and his smile. I love his attitude and his spunk, even when it manifests as a temper tantrum. He is a great guy.

Happy birthday to you, Maddox. We sure do love you!

Inspirational

I have been watching this season of Dancing With the Stars. In my next life, I'd love to be a ballroom dancer. For now, though, I am content to watch other non-dancers learn how to dance. It gives me some sort of hope that I will somehow convince my husband to want to dance and that we will start taking dance classes and be the coolest couple ever to chaperon a youth dance. Okay....maybe I'm kidding about that last part and I do realize it is a complete fantasy and is about as likely to happen as me starting at linebacker for BYU next fall. Anyhow, I digress. I wanted to comment on Marlee Matlin.

I realize I am a week behind in making a comment on this but since we were travelling and I had the show on my Tivo, I just watched it last night around midnight as Lincoln refused to sleep. I didn't mind being up so late since I was completely blown away, yet again, by this amazing woman.

Marlee is profoundly deaf. Her main form of communication is sign language. She won an Oscar for her role in Children of a Lesser God and has appeared in several other things as a deaf woman. She does speak but usually signs and hears very little but was able to learn how to dance. For you Seinfeld fans out there, she was Jerry's girlfriend who they used to read George's ex-girlfriend's lips at a party. Great episode....

Anyhow, the judges were amazed each week with her performance. They continued to comment on how blown away they were that she was able to learn these dances even though she can't hear the music. I happen to have a little girl who also does not hear all of the music but absolutely loves to dance. I watch her dance through her life, waving her arms and twirling around. There must be an entire soundtrack in her head because she seems to be constantly dancing. I guess that is why Marlee is an inspiration to me. She reminded me that there is no reason that deafness should limit someone. Congratulations to her!

Wanna Get Away? Ding.

You know those Southwest commercials when something really awful happens and then the voice says, "Wanna get away?" Well, we just got away and I think that Southwest decided to make an anti-vacation commercial out of our vacation. This is the family trip that we will always remember. I tried to tell myself that over and over again as the trip progressed. "We're making memories," I kept thinking.

Now that we are home, I'd really like a vacation....

Here are my top 10 reasons for needing a vacation from my vacation:

10. The days we had planned on going to the beach or going swimming were overcast and the days we went to Disney were sunny. Thus, I have a terrible farmer's tan. I'd really like to get rid of it!

9. While my hotel was very nice and quite luxurious, I had a hard time enjoying it because there were never enough towels or sheets. Hi, Housekeeping, it's room 191 again. We'd like the usual. Thanks. Huh? Keep reading!

8. In the car on the way to the airport, Maddox threw up all over himself. That means that my car really smelled great by the time we got home!

7. I changed no less than 5 diahrrea diapers on the airplane in a one hour flight to California. Our row smelled like death. Ever wondered what India smells like? Try sitting in row 13 on the plane we took to California!

6.On our very first night in the hotel, we had to call the front desk at 3 am for a change of sheets because Maddox woke up and vomited all over. Here's one of the few advantages in being deaf: Hadley slept through the entire circus!

5. Apparently when your rental car keys fall out of your pocket at Disneyland, they are very difficult to find in the park at 10 pm. They are even more difficult to find when you don't know where you lost them, when they have no identifying key chains and when you are exhausted and your kids are FINISHED for the day.

4. When you are travelling with a family and there is only one hotel bathroom and a "traffic jam" because everyone needs to vomit or take care of other business all at the same time, which happens to be 3 am, you end up with some messes in the hall. Thankfully, we bought a Nemo bucket for the beach and one child was able to use the bucket.

3. My hotel room ended up smelling like row 13 on the airplane. The nominations for a name for this illness are 1. The Bamboo Flu, 2. The New Delhi Helly and 3. The Yangtsee River. And for the lady at the Sea World Shamu show who was eavesdropping on our coversation, no, the Yangtsee River is not in Alaska. Really? Is anyone really that stupid? I thought those Jay Walking people were faking it but apparently in California, anything is possible.

2. The Newport Beach Emergency room is a really nice place but it's not where I wanted to spend one of my vacation days. Luckily, Maddox is so darn cute that all of the doctors, nurses, PAs, etc. on staff came in to our room to hear him sing, "Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a pirate's life for me!"

1. Sleeeeeeeeeep. I need sleep. Now that my baby is finally sleeping through the night, I expected to get at least one good night's sleep on this trip. Not so much. With two kids vomiting and a very sick husband, there wasn't much, if any, sleep on this trip. You know you have a problem when you tuck each child in at night with a bucket next to them. One child got the Nemo bucket, one child got the hotel ice bucket. Hopefully housekeeping throws that thing away!

Since I had the "mental toughness" to avoid the illness, I figure I deserve a vacation now. I plan to leave the sick kids and sick husband at home and just go soak up some sunshine on a deserted beach somewhere. There will be no characters, rides, chicken nuggets, diapers, emergency rooms, sippy cups, sleepless nights or Disneyland lost and found visits on my vacation. There will be no traffic jams, sold out baseball games, cloudy skies or stinky hotel rooms on my vacation. I will not be sitting in row 13 of the airplane. I'd love a grown up who reads interesting things and provides good conversation but who doesn't throw sand, isn't sick, and knows when to shut up, close their eyes and enjoy the peace to accompany me. Any takers?

Definitions

I don't really like those open-ended questions about myself. My blog profile, for example, is just awkward for me. I consider myself a very confident individual. I like me. I am happy, for the most part, with who I am. That doesn't mean that there aren't thing's I'd like to change about myself. It just means that after many years of life, I have gotten to a place that is comfortable. That being said, I would rather not try to define myself in a blog profile or a questionaire. Who am I? As soon as the question is asked, I start to wonder. It's like a social experiment. There is so much that goes into me that it just seems impossible to sum myself up in a few words.



For Hadley's birthday, we gave her a storybook kit. It has these little books and she can write her own stories. Last night, she came running up with her first completed story. The title is "All About my Family" and she dedicates a page to each family member. She easily defined her mom as the one who takes care of everyone, her dad as the "fun" one who rides bikes with her, her brother Maddox as the one who gets in trouble but who she really loves and her brother Lincoln as her buddy who likes to say "goo". I could write several blogs about how unfair it is that I have to be the caregiver rather than the fun parent but that's not what worried me. What gave me pause was the page she wrote about herself.



She wrote, "I am the only one who is deaf. That means that I can't hear." That is the only thing she wrote about herself. She didn't write that she has sparkling eyes, that her favorite color is baby blue or pink depending on the hour of the day, that her laugh is contagious, that she loves to dance, that she reads better than any other first grader I've ever met, that she is full of love for everyone, or that she loves rain boots, umbrellas and rain coats but doesn't really like the rain. No...she wrote that she is deaf and that she is the only one who is deaf. It is the first time that I have ever seen her define herself like this and it is really bothering me.



I hope you don't misunderstand me. I am so proud of her deafness and I do not think it is something to be ashamed of. It is definitely a part of who she is. It sets her apart from many people and it does have a lot to do with her identity. I only can hope and pray that she knows that she is so much more.



In college I took a secondary education class on individuals with disabilities. If I learned nothing else in the class, I came away with an understanding of labelling and how it can be so dangerous. I remember being struck by the idea that we are all people first and that when referring to a child, we should first identify their humanity. Instead of saying a deaf girl, we should say a girl who is deaf. I have never really been hung up on that as a parent of a child with a disability. If someone says "deaf child", I am not instantly up in arms. However, the concept is so true. I want Hadley to be a 7 year old girl first and foremost. I want all of Hadley's "Hadliness" to shine through. I want people to notice HER. I want them to see that little dimple under her eye, to understand her silly jokes, to laugh at the fact that she never puts her book down, even when getting off the bus and walking across the street, to admire her fearlessness when trying new things, and to be drawn towards her because she is a powerful spirit. Sure, she is deaf; that may make her more interesting sometimes. But does it have to define her?

Want to waste some time?

86 words

Speed test

Okay, maybe I am sort of a competitive person. So I kept on doing this darn speed test until I got above 80 words per minute. Maddox and Hadley kept asking me what I was doing as Hadley called out the random words that were highlighted on the test. It's a serious waste of time but kind of fun anyhow!

I've gone digital...

I am not a scrapbooker. I buy paper, stickers, ribbon, etc. and think...okay, here I go. I'm going to at least print off my kids' pictures and get them onto simple pages and into books. But have I ever successfully created even one scrapbook page? NOPE! Do I even get the pictures printed? Sometimes. Then I put them into boxes and think, "One of these days, I'm going to have time to organize these and get them into books."

Well, it has all been revolutionized! Thank you, Caroline, for introducing me to digital scrapbooking. I love it. I created a whole book for Hadley's birthday with about 40 pages and it only took me a few hours total. I can do it with a fussy baby bouncing on my lap. By the time you pay to print your pictures, buy your paper, your special sewing machines for the paper, the brads, the tags, the ribbons....and whatever else people use for scrapbook pages, it ends up being a pretty big investment, right? My 12X12 pages printed at Costco for $2.99 each and I'm pretty proud of them. They even look somewhat artistic and creative.

If there's anyone else out there who, like me, has not found the time or the creative drive to create albums of beautiful scrapbook pages, give the digital a try. Here are a few of my creations!

Simplify...sometimes less really is more!

Those of you who know me well know that I have a serious problem when it comes to birthday parties. I can't stop. I just keep going and going until it has gone WAY over the top. On the day Hadley turned 2, Stewart shipped out to Iraq. Her birthday went almost completely unnoticed that year. I think my mom made a cupcake and we took a picture of her blowing out the candle. We did nothing else. The following year, when she turned 3, her dad was almost home and we thought we'd wait and have a party when he got here. He got home and it was chaotic and the party never happened.

I must have decided to compensate for those 2 failed birthdays when she turned four. We had a cowgirl party and invited about 25 kids over. It was complete insanity. You know it's out of control when there are ponies in your yard, right? The next year, the princess party was equally crazy. The 24 children running around dressed as princesses, princes, and knights were great but I think it took me and my house a week to recover. Last year's luau about drove me to an early grave. The hula lessons were fun but did I really need to make hot dogs that looked like octopuses for 23 children? They were nestled on a bed of shell-shaped pasta with goldfish crackers. So cute.....so cute that the kids were scared of the octopus and I don't think anyone ate them.

So this year I decided to simplify. When Hadley suggested we go to Build-a-Bear for her birthday, I was thrilled. She was only allowed to invite 5 friends, we didn't do treat bags, pinatas, decorations.... We just went to the mall, built our bears, came home for pizza, cake and ice cream. Really great. I was finished cleaning up within 30 minutes of the last guest's departure. There was only one bag of garbage from the party, she didn't get 25 new toys (we have way too many as it is!), I only had a slight headache by the time it was over and it really was fun. My thanks to Karyn for an adorable cake. The kids were mesmerized. Well done, Karyn!

Now I'm asking myself if this is what happens to people who have 3 kids. Do you just stop putting as much effort into things? I hope not. I hope I am still as excited about Maddox's 4th birthday as I was about Hadley's. But it was nice to take a step back this year. Hadley declared it to be the best day of her life....ever! I'd call that a success.

Journey to Hear

I titled my blog after the foundation that my amazing friend Hailey has set up to help out the many deaf children in Utah County but I also write that title because I want to emphasize that it really is a journey. Last night we were able to attend the annual speech and arts fair that is hosted by the Alexander Graham Bell Association and the Utah School for the Deaf and Blind. The theme of the night was "A Blast from the Past". It really was a blast from the past for me as I was able to watch the pre-school children and think about how far we have come. I can vividly remember Hadley in her first year performing. Now that it is our fourth year in attendance, the speech fair serves as my yearly reminder of the journey that our little Hadley has been on.


When you find out that your child has a major disability, it is earth-shattering in so many ways. The journey begins! For us, we knew so little about hearing loss that the first thing we did was embark on a journey of learning. We educated ourselves about the deaf community, issues in deafness, sign language, cued speech and finally, cochlear implants. Armed with information, we then began a journey of decision-making. It may seem like an easy decision to some people. If you have the ability to "restore" your child's hearing, why wouldn't you do it? But when you are faced with the choices, it really is difficult.


There are many who are against cochlear implants, citing the importance of a deaf person being part of the deaf community. That means you raise your child to sign, to attend church with deaf people, to attend a deaf school and to have an interpretor wherever they go. They will tell you that cochlear implants aren't always effective or they will tell you to wait until your child is old enough to make the choice. The strength of these opinions vary from those who are mildy opposed to implants and frown at the idea to those who are adamently against cochlear implants are are happy to let you know.


While our family was considering all of the options available to Hadley, we attended a workshop and learned cued speech. Most are completely unaware that such a system exists. I myself had never heard of it until Hadley came along. It is basically a visual representation of phonemes that, when used in combination with lip-reading, allows a person with no hearing to communicate using spoken English. It is, in simplified terms, a bridge between the spoken language and sign language. It uses no sign language but it gives a deaf person the ability to see some of the sounds that are being spoken. It really is an amazing system and as a language enthusiast, I was fascinated by the idea. We logged that information into our little but ever-growing stash of knowledge on our journey to understand just what it means to be the parents of a deaf child.


Obviously, when the choice came, we decided that Hadley would receive a cochlear implant. Her first surgery was in April of 2002. She was barely 12 months old and it was a horrible thing to have to go through. No parent should ever have to hand their little baby over to an anesthesiologist, knowing that she will be sedated, have her head shaved, her skull drilled and electrodes inserted into her cochlea.


The new phase of Hadley's journey began with her cochlear implant We had no idea what it truly meant for her. Now that we are many years down the road, we are able to see how having a cochlear implant has changed Hadley's life for the better. I know it is easy for others to offer their opinions on implants, hearing aids and all of the other many options that are available to a deaf child but I am confident that our daughter was given every opportunity possible to become who she is today and I am so proud of her.

Last night was yet another affirmation that Hadley is on the right path on her journey to hear. As I think back on the other years that she participated in the speech fair, I can see the evolution of a little girl who could barely say her name to this amazing, bright-eyed, confident person who hopped up on the stage last night and lead the audience in a sing along of The Beatles song, "I Want to Hold Your Hand". There was no trepidation in her. She smiled, held that microphone, introduced herself and said, "Raise your hand if you like The Beatles." I am never sure if I understand Hadley so well because she's my child and I am accustomed to her speech or if she really speaks clearly enough to be intelligible to everyone. To my delight, hands went up throughout the audience. She was clear, everyone understood her, and everyone sang along.

Oh, Hadley....I am so honored to be your mom. I am so thankful for this journey we are taking together. I am overcome with the person that you are today and I do not ever want this journey to end. I love you, Hadley Anne!

A True Easter Miracle

On Saturday, we thought it would be fun to take the kids to have their Easter pictures done. Lincoln has never had a professional picture taken since we haven't been allowed out in public. I figured Easter was a good time to break the rule and get a picture. I truly expected it to be a disaster but somehow, everything went smoothly. I even got the closest possible parking spot at the mall. Maddox smiled (he never smiles in pictures) because we had a male photographer. He thinks men are generally entertaining and funny. Women seem to bore him, unless they are Grandma, Mom, Hadley, Dama (my mom) or a few select neighbors who he really likes. While Lincoln was having his individual picture done, Grandma took Maddox for a walk. I hope she forgives him for being such fun! She had never before seen a true Maddox tantrum but she was lucky enough to witness one in the Disney Store, as he commanded her to, "Go AWAY!" He definitely forgives Grandma. As we pulled away from the mall, he was crying to go see her again. Either way, we got the picture, and the day was a success.