Why Walking May be Hazardous to your Health

I will not be walking for the next two weeks.

Because

apparently

I

am

not

good

at
it.

After two weeks pass and I get approval, I will be able to walk again with these:

and this:

So...

if your foot looks like this (small bump is ankle, large bump is....not supposed to be there):

you may have broken some bones, torn a ligament and sprained it.

And then you, too, will understand why walking may be hazardous to your health. And if that does happen, you may join me on my couch with a good book, a mug of water, an ice pack, a pile of pillows, a propped up foot, and an irritated expression on your face. I will spend the next two weeks in the aforementioned pose throwing myself one massive pity party. 'Cause really, if you are 30 weeks pregnant, about to kick off one hot August, you have three active children and a husband about to go out of town, what else is there really to do? Come party with me, y'all.

p.s. fat pregnant lady + crutches + stylish walking boot = hot!

Morning around these parts

Very early.

Bright sun.

Lincoln and Maddox are awake at the crack of dawn.

Maddox instantly finds his Darth Vader t-shirt and a rather girly crushed velvet pirate vest I made for Hadley's Halloween costume a few years ago. A pistol gun adds the perfect accessory to complete the look.

Lincoln wakes up Hadley....just because. She screams.

Lincoln climbs into the kitchen sink and soaks his pajamas. I strip him down and Maddox helps clean the water that is now all over the floor.

In the kitchen breakfast requests are made. Oatmeal for one, french toast for one, and cereal for another. Everyone hears the blender whir and demands a protein shake.

Stewart leaves for work to the familiar sight of three kids and a dog waving to him on the porch. (Okay, the dog doesn't really wave, but whatever.) In the winter they prefer the library window. They flash their "I love you" sign language hands and he gives a little honk and off he goes. What a perfect picture for him to begin his long day.

Another day closer to not being pregnant ever again.

Here we go.

My scale...

MUST BE BROKEN.

How many pounds can you just chalk up to water retention due to the fact that my car told me it was 102 degrees yesterday?

Oh dear.

Well, fans, at least I'm not in this one alone.

left to right:

-sister-in- law Emily - 36 weeks pregnant with twin GIRLS (that were delivered on Saturday)

-me, due Oct 6th with a GIRL

-sister Krystyna due October 26th with her 1st: a GIRL

-not pictured - sister Mara due in December with her third: a GIRL

-sister Karyn due January 30th with her third: gender not yet known

Other sister-in-law April already had her GIRL in May.

And that is a lot of girls.

And a lot of broken scales.

*don't drink the water 'round here, and I'm not just talking about that whole water retention thing earlier mentioned...this just might be contagious*

SAY NO

Stewart had to have a medical test done last week and we haven't gotten test results yet. He called the doctor's office around 12:30 but they were closed for lunch. I called at 4:00 and they were gone for the day. They receptionist said they'd call back tomorrow after they get in. (When's that, I thought? After 10:00 or something?)

Hmm.

I remembered I needed to schedule a follow-up appointment for Maddox to get a filling at the dentist. I called there. Closed for the day. Wait...tomorrow is Friday. Call back on Monday, please. They rattled off some hours to call and it sort of sounded like they would be working for 3 hours and 15 minutes a day....3.5 days a week. I'm no mathmetician, but that doesn't sound like very much working. I'm just sayin'.

Hmm.

Well, if you are looking for any of the lawyers I know, call the office between the hours of 6 am and 8 pm Monday through Saturday. You should have no trouble reaching them.

And if your husband/brother/cousin/son/boyfriend/fiancee/friend is considering a career in the law, refer to post title. Then send them to medical/dental school and start planning out the fun you will have on your long weekends. (I know, all of you dr. wives are thinking that your husbands do work really long hours and I'm sure that's the truth for some doctors but really, tell me the last time you saw a lawyer home by 5:00. Was it Christmas?)

Blah.

huh?

Maddox was sitting behind me on our chair and a half staring at the book shelf and sounding out new words.

I was feeling proud. He is really reading now and I take full credit since I was his preschool teacher. Go me. I may not get much done but every once in a while, something really does work!

I was happily typing along to my out of town husband when I heard him say, "Cushions, you are so vile." He's talking to the chair.

What? Okay, so maybe we need some vocabulary time added into our daily reading, address and phone number practice, shoe-tying lessons and name-writing practice.

I'll just add it to my growing list of things to do today.