Days of War Episode 3 (Mamas, don't let your babies)

Haven't we all heard it? The country song about cowboys?

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.

Don't let 'em pick guitars or drive them old trucks.

Let 'em be doctors and lawyers and such.

Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.

'Cause they'll never stay home and they're always alone.

Even with someone they love.

Well, true confession time. I used to feel the same way about soldiers. Here's how my version of the song would have been sung:

Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be soldiers.

Don't let 'em shoot guns or drive them old tanks.

Let 'em be dentists and pharmacists and such

(those are the guys who seem to be home a lot more then the doctors and lawyers, by the way)

Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be soldiers.

'Cause they'll go off to war all on their own

And leave behind someone they love.

I still feel that way a little bit. I am not going to lie. When I see this:

I get a little twinge. I don't want my little boy to EVER grow up and I certainly don't want him to grow up and go to war. (This was the last time Stewart went to drill. He officially got out of the National Guard last year. He's still not sure how he feels about it but couldn't manage another deployment without destroying his career.)

And more confessions. I was awful...I mean awful...to my mother in law when Stewart was in Iraq. I selfishly only understood the impact that his absence had on me. I didn't have a little boy. I didn't understand how she felt about her little boy. I didn't understand that she had sleepless nights worrying about his safety, too. I didn't understand that even though he hadn't lived under her roof for a very long time, he had never left her heart.

I quoted Band of Brothers in an earlier posting. It is a Stephen Ambrose novel that follows one group of soldiers, Easy Company, through their training and the war. Everyone should read it because it is hard to read. It is vivid and awful but true and beautiful. I can gratefully say that Stewart was spared many of the horrors of war but was given some of this same brotherhood that is written about in the book. He had Tony & Ben in Iraq. I had Caroline & Angela, their wives, in America. We formed our own families to take the place of the emptiness. The boys took care of each other. The wives took care of each other. It worked, in a strange sort of way. Nobody could ever really understand how it worked unless they experienced it.

After eleven and a half years of marriage, one fifteen month deployment, and one World War II Trip through France, I may have changed my tune. oops. Didn't mean the pun.

Mamas, maybe it's okay to let your babies grow up to be soldiers. Soldiers are men. Soldiers are people who put others before themselves. Soldiers are disciplined and structured. Soldiers know how to take care of things. They know how to lead. They know how to follow. Soldiers make great husbands and also great sons. Mamas, it may break your heart, but being a soldier may be the very best thing that could ever happen to your son.

Maybe it's because we are learning about Captain Moroni right know in our family scripture study. Maybe it's because my husband was a great soldier. Maybe it's because Maddox gets dressed like this most mornings.

But...I think maybe...just maybe...

We could all only hope our babies do grow up to be soldiers.