Yesterday, I...
felt wierd
had cramps
lost my mucous plug
(sorry, gross, I know)
Today, I...
went to the doctor
got put on 100% bed rest
was told I can only get up to use the bathroom
cried a lot
cried some more
found people to help with my kids
cried even more
Tomorrow, I...
return to the doctor
will find out if I am going to be admitted into the hospital
plan to cry some more
will be in my bed for the rest of the time
or checking into the hospital
I am 32 weeks pregnant as of today. This is the point in pregnancy when Lincoln was born. He spent 6 excruciating weeks in the NICU. The kind doctor today told me...between my gulps and sobs...that every day I can keep this baby in equals two fewer days of the NICU. I plan to obey the 100% bed rest order because I've done the NICU routine and I hated it. I do not want to wake up to a breast pump every three hours. I do not want to give birth to a "rag doll with a pulse" (as one nurse described Lincoln). I want my birth moment, where they hand you a healthy, pink, breathing baby. I do not want to drive to the hospital four or five times a day and leave my other children behind. I do not want to drive away from the hospital four or five times a day and leave my baby behind. I do not want any of this. I did not want yesterday, today or tomorrow. But here I am and that is that.
So pray for me, would ya?
6 comments:
Oh Misha! I'm so sorry. Hang in there. I hope with all my heart that those around you can take care of what you need so you can stay in bed as long as possible. I wish I lived closer. What if I bring you dinner next week? It would totally be worth the drive!
Oh Misha, I am so sorry. I so hope that your little one can stay put a little bit longer. I don't know why these pregnancies can't go easier for you, but your children are so blessed to have such an amazing, strong, faithful mother. I am praying for you!!! Hang in there!!!
Oh no! I haven't even heard about this!! Good thing I am graduating this week so I can come keep you company and help with the kiddos!! Hang in there, Mish. I love you, and, yes, I will definitely pray for you.
You are getting double prayers over here. One for me and one for you! I was reading some suggestions on how to make it through bed rest and it talked about leaning over the side of your bed to have your hair washed. I kind of laughed and thought that was a bit excessive since you could just take a quick shower but now I realize it could be realistic and greasy hair just might be worth a cute healthy baby. Plus I had a random dream that my Mom delivered my twins via c-section last night and one was a preemie and one was 6 months old. I definiteley don't want to deliver a 6 month old but the color and responsiveness was much better for that one!
Just think of all the great books you can read, movies you can watch.....ok, it may drive you crazy but still at least I am partially going through this with you! I am trying to teach Lexie how to paint toenails since #1 I can't reach my toenails and #2 she has a very inactive dummy (aka me) to practice on. I've also had the kids bring me their toy buckets so I can organize them and I am currently folding baby clothes from the couch. Just a few random thoughts! Good luck~
I am so sorry you have to go through this! I am so proud of you for taking it seriously!!! You can do this, I know because you are on tough chick!! Don't worry, your kids will be fine, they will think it's a little vacation with all the fun they will be having ;) Good luck, you are in our prayers!
All of my THOUGHTS and PRAYERS are with you.
Hope you can keep this sweet baby in. . . just a little longer.
If you need anything, please let me know.
twoprettygirls@hotmail.com
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